It can be heartbreaking to witness someone you love struggle with alcohol addiction. "Alcohol has become an increasingly common part of so much of society and social gatherings, which makes it even more difficult to support a loved one facing an alcohol addiction effectively," says Aakash Shah, M.D., chief of Addiction Medicine at Jersey Shore University Medical Center.

It's important to understand that while your loved one's alcohol addiction is a serious issue, there are ways you can help and support them through it. 

Dr. Shah offers six tips to help a spouse who is newly sober or is taking steps to get sober.

Create an alcohol-free shared space. "For someone who is newly sober or seeking treatment for alcohol addiction, it can be incredibly helpful to live in an alcohol-free home, and spouses, partners and friends can facilitate creating a temptation-free and less stressful home environment," says Dr. Shah. 

Anticipate your spouse's triggers. "Triggers, or situations and feelings that lead to an urge to drink, can be a common occurrence for someone in recovery," says Dr. Shah. Common triggers may include:

• Stressful situations
• Watching others drink alcohol
• Feeling alone or isolated from others
• Being around certain people or in certain places

Know that medications can help. “There are medications like naltrexone that can help curb alcohol use,” Dr. Shah says. “These can be most effective when they are combined with therapy and support groups.”

Celebrate your spouse's progress. Help your spouse or partner celebrate milestones toward sobriety. For example, celebrate with a special meal, a trip or a sweet treat to mark the occasion.

Have patience. "Remember that recovery takes time and patience, and it doesn't always happen in a linear fashion," says Dr. Shah. "Be prepared to be generously patient and supportive throughout a process that may include two steps forward and one step back." 

Prioritize your self-care. When supporting a loved one with any medical condition, it's easy to put your own needs aside. "Remember that self-care is essential for everyone," says Dr. Shah. Take time each day to focus on yourself and do something that brings you joy or makes you feel relaxed and refreshed.

If you think your spouse or partner is relapsing, avoid accusation. Instead, approach your spouse with honesty and without judgment. "There may be moments of concern and even doubt when you see behaviors that seem familiar from prior to recovery, calmly express your concern in a loving way," says Dr. Shah. 

When Your Spouse Is Reluctant to Get Sober

If your spouse or partner is reluctant or unwilling to take steps to get sober—or even unaware of their addiction—an intervention led by a professional might be an option to consider. “Interventions can be effective, usually as a last resort, with loved ones sharing how the addiction is affecting the individual and family. But interventions typically come with specific consequences, so they should be carefully considered and planned as a family,” says Dr. Shah. 

He continues: “It is important to understand that most people with an addiction want to change but do not know where to begin and find endless reasons to delay or avoid the topic. Rather than demand they get treatment and give ultimatums, patiently ask if they are truly happy. If not, calmly ask what is preventing them from going into rehab. The reasons they give for not ‘being ready’ are often distractions, but show they know they need treatment. That can be a reason for hope.”

Next Steps & Resources:

• Meet our source: Aakash Shah, M.D.
• For admissions information about Blake Recovery Center at Carrier Clinic inpatient detox and rehab services, call 800-933-3579.
• To make an appointment with an addiction specialist or behavioral health specialist near you, call 800-822-8905 or visit our website.

The material provided through HealthU is intended to be used as general information only and should not replace the advice of your physician. Always consult your physician for individual care.